Listening is important, but she also wants to know that she is being heard. Nodding along won't cut it. When she pauses, she's giving you a cue to respond in a compassionate, caring way, says Kirschner. If she tells you that she is upset because her boss gave her a tough time, she wants to hear you say "I'm sorry that work was such a drag for you today." And remember: Resist the urge to offer solutions.

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